From One to Two

I have had several friends that already have one child ask me what it's like to go from one to two. I will be honest and say that it's really hard! I don't anticipate it getting any easier within the next year. I've heard that the terrible 3's are worse than the terrible 2's. As the baby gets more mobile, I'm sure I will be even busier. Gone are the days when he just laid there and slept all the time!

I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. I had all sorts of emotions, but I was mostly terrified that I couldn't do it and wasn't quite ready yet. I honestly don't know when I would have been "ready." I had nine months to get ready and I slowly adjusted to the fact that I was going to have another baby. I went through a period of guilt for not allowing Kross to be my only baby for longer. I felt like I was taking something away from him. In a sense I did take something away, but I also gave him the best gift a little boy could be given...a brother.

Your Body:
 
It was really easy carrying Kross. I don't remember ever having any complaints, and if you ask Kevin, he'll tell you that I was always happy! Baby #2 is more stressful on your body. You hurt. After chasing a toddler every day, I had tons of aches and pains and felt like I was stretched to the max both physically and mentally. Remember how tired you were that first trimester with baby #1?? Well imagine that being doubled with pregnancy #2. I was falling asleep sitting straight up. My belly button hurt from about 28 wks on. I felt lots of pressure as if he was really, really heavy and low. I started wearing a belly support at about 31 weeks to help with some of the pressure. I started getting severe back pain toward the last month to month and a half. Pain would shoot from my lower back down my legs and wrap around the front of my thigh. Classic sciatic nerve pain. Unfortunately, the only thing that helped was to lay down, but you try and tell that to a two year old. Then I was put on bed rest at 34 weeks. How do you do bed rest with a two year old?? I really, really tried to be patient with Kross because I knew he was only two years old. Man, two year olds can really press your buttons sometimes! And I felt really guilty right after I had Krew because Kross and I had a bad night that night. I had no idea that less than 24 hrs later I would have another baby. My only focus was on how much pain I was in when I moved. And the pain had nothing to do with weight gain because I gained alot less weight the 2nd time (18lbs vs 32lbs).  **And this just goes to show you that weight gain has NOTHING to do with baby size because Krew was earlier than Kross and also heavier!

Lots of questions:

What do you do when both of them are crying? Which one do you console first? What do you do if you're feeding one and the other one poops or has to poop? What if #2 spits up and chokes while you're cleaning #1's poop? What do you do if you have a very jealous child #1? How can you get child #1 involved?? What if they aren't gentle with #2? What do you do if you have to give #1 a bath and #2 is still awake and fussy but you need to get everyone in bed at a decent hour?? These are all issues/questions that I have encountered along with many others. This was basically what I could think of off the top of my head.

And then there's the sleeping thing...when Krew sleeps through the night, Kross is up yelling at 2:00 a.m. He hardly ever does this! So just when you think you can sleep all night, you can't because your 3 year old is having an "OFF" night! But you deal with it because that's what Moms do.

Now, we have adjusted to our new normal. Some days are good and some are really, really bad. That's just how it goes. Kross really tries to take advantage of me when I'm home alone with both of them and I sit down to feed Krew. That's his cue to run wild! Then, there are days when he will sit right next to me for 30 minutes without moving. He does things for attention especially when there is a single parent home and that parent has to give little brother attention too. I try to give him extra-special attention when Krew is napping or down for the night.
 
Am I glad that I have two? YES! I can't imagine it without all the chaos that is OUR LIFE. I am thrilled that they will be closer in age than I "planned." It's funny how God knows what will be the best for your future and your life. I think that one day they are going to be best friends and that will probably be when Kross can bribe Krew into doing things that he's not supposed to do!
 
So the big question is, how will you know when you're ready for number two?? You won't know. You may not ever feel "ready." You may not ever think you have enough money saved or have enough funds for a second child, but you make it work with what you have.

And the BIG question for me is "Are you gonna have another??"  My answer is always "Umm, I don't know!" Because, I honestly don't know. Even on nights when it's really bad (as in they have both been screaming and crying for one reason or another for hours) that still doesn't make me say "I don't want any more!" I like the whole having babies process - minus the aching that comes towards the end of pregnancy. And I'm only going to be 29 (in a week), so I still have time to think about it. For now, I'll LOVE and LOVE and LOVE on my little boys!