To Spank or Not to Spank??

I know this is not what the grandparents want to see...they want new pictures of their babies. Sorry. I'll get there eventually.

This is a subject that I've thought long and hard about and it is a very touchy subject with parents today. I know that what works for some kids doesn't work for all of them, and I like to hear from other parents and find out what works for them.

I feel that if we spank him, it's only teaching him that it's ok to hit people. It stings for a second and it's over. Timeouts devastate him! He thinks the world is coming to an end for a few minutes and it really gives him some time to think about what he did to get in trouble. Every time he goes to "the corner", he cries and he'll immediately apologize...but does he know what he's apologizing for?? Most of the time no, he doesn't. I give him a few minutes in "the corner" and then I go and ask him if he knows why he's in trouble. I make sure to tell him if he (conveniently) can't remember. I've also read that if you do timeouts, the child should only be in timeout for the number of minutes equal to their age. For example, Kross is two, so he should stay in timeout for two minutes. Otherwise, the child forgets what happened and why they are in trouble. My child doesn't forget...he chooses not to remember. I know this because he can remember things we did or said days ago. Usually he's not in the corner for just two minutes and that's because he will do things in the corner that cause him to "need" to be there longer...I won't go into details because some of it may be shocking!

Sometimes a spanking is appropriate (just a quick pop on the hiney) to just get his attention so he will stop and calm down before he gets hurt doing something he shouldn't be doing. However, I don't like to spank when I'm angry. It takes a little bit for me to get angry...this usually happens when he continues to do what I've asked him not to over and over and over again. This is when "the corner" is more appropriate. He has time to think or scream about it. Sometimes just threatening with a spanking will work and he'll stop doing what he's doing. I found out that this works great at bedtime when he should be sleeping...but he's been talking or singing to himself for an hour or two. Yes, I'm sure you're thinking "how cute!" It is cute for the first 30 minutes. After that, it's time to lay down. And occassionally he'll be in his bed screaming random things or making excuses to get out of bed "I'm hungry, I need to tee tee, I need XXX!" That's when I go up there and tell him it's time to lay down and go night night and if I have to come up there again he's gonna get a spanking. I usually don't hear from him again.

Now, I know every parent disciplines differently and what works for us may not work for you. I know I was spanked when I was growing up. I remember it because I was older and I knew that I did something wrong. I was also old enough to know that I wasn't going to even think about hitting my parents back. Kross is not old enough to understand that. If we hit, why can't he? And if I did spank for every time he didn't listen or was doing something "bad", sometimes I think I'd be spanking his butt all day! I don't want to do that. He is a very active little boy and very observant of our actions.

I know that I'm not perfect and I've never claimed to be. Parenting is a struggle every day...some days are good and some are really bad. I just try to do the best that I can at the time.

**Oh and as a side note, there are some kids that just need a good ass-whippin' sometime! I'm talking about those kids in the store or restaurant that are running wild and the parents are just doing their own thing and ignoring the kids. I've nearly fallen over kids like this out in public and it makes me insane. I'm talking about kids that are old enough to know what's right and what's wrong and they are clearly acting a fool!